My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
