Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
