Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
