I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
