this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
