dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
worst night to have a conscience
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
