: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
