I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
