Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
