Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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