Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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