I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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