oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
