Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize