just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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