maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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