she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize