i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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