Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
