What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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