My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize