i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
