If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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