Can Purell be used as lube?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
