Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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