There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
