shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was confusing and full of hummus
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
