well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
