ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
