I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
that is very illegal...i love you.
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