bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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