I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
