At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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