You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
