Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
