jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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