3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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