I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
