i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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