So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
