i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
