We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
