Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
