Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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