theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
