BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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