Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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