the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
