In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
