Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
