The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
