I'm so fucking centered right now
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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