did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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