I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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