Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize