rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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