I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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