Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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