so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
