I just pynch a tree in the face
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize