There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
