I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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